What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
