I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.