Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online