Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.