I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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