only you would photoshop your dick
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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