My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize