Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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