i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
