In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I supernannyed him into submission
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize