i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize