I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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