He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I wear drunk well.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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