so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize