used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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