Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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