found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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