the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
