Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
