Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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