We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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