The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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