WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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