I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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