your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
