i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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