haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
