I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
