I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
