Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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