she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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