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***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
