well you can't waste a boner
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
