No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
