I'm lost and stupid without you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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