i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
