If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i drank out of a bidet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize