I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
