did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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