Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
