Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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