I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
