I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.