I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.