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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (646): View more from New York

  all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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• (936): View more from Texas

  My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.

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• (310): View more from California

  I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her

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• (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I'm pretty sure that's yours.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.

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