So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.