I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
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I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.