You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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