Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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