Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
