Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
