No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish i was in the wii world.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
