I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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