he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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