This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i now understand why vodka
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
