Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
