I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
