Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
