Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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