i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
