My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
