Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
