and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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