I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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