I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
