Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
