Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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