you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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